The Monolith Monsters (1957)

You know the budget’s low when the monsters are rocks. That’s right….rocks. The special effects are so bad that they’re actually fun to watch. The movie starts with a Paul Frees voiceover warning about meteors.

Geologist Ben Gilbert brings back a black rock he found in the desert outside San Angelo, California. That night he leaves the office window open. The wind knock some water onto the rock. Uh-oh.

The next day Dave Miller (Grant Williams) returns to find the office a wreck and Ben looking like he’s made out of stone. When he tips over and breaks into pieces that proves it. Also, there are black rocks all over the place.

Meanwhile, Dave’s girlfriend Kathy the school teacher (Lola Albright) is on a field trip to the desert with her elementary school students. One of them, Ginny Simpson, picks up a rock and takes it home. Her mother doesn’t want that dirty thing in the house. Ginny drops it in a big bucket of water outside to wash it.

Dave and Kathy drive out to the Simpson ranch. It’s a disaster. Black rocks everywhere. Ginny is in shock and Mom..well…if the local park needs a new statue she’ll fit right in. Dave and Kathy tear into L.A. with Ginny whose hand is as hard as a rock.

Back in town local newspaper editor/writer Martin Cochrane (Les Tremayne) may finally have something to write about. Dave presses Professor Arthur Flanders into service. Out in the desert they discover a huge meteor in a crater. So that’s where the rocks came from!  In the lab the two can’t get a handle on things until a small piece drops into the sink and water gets on it.

And now…..it’s a thunderstorm. The meteor is growing into skyscrapers and then falling over making tons of little rocks. The rocks are heading for town. They’re doomed! They’re all doomed!

TV fans remember Grant Williams as Gregg MacKenzie on “Hawaiian Eye” (1960-63).  His most famous movie SF role was in 1957 as Scott Carey in “The Incredible Shrinking Man.” He made that before this one.

Lola Albright is well known to TV fans as Peter Gunn’s girlfriend Edie Hart (1958-61).

Les Tremayne appeared in most major TV shows and a few dozen movies. In the early days of TV he was Inspector Richard Queen in “The Further Adventures Of Ellery Queen” (1958-59).

Look out!! Here they come!!

The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes (1939)

Second in the fourteen film series starring Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce. George Zucco makes a great Professor Moriarty. Too bad the movie falls apart in the final third.

Moriarty is judged not guilty in his murder trial due to lack of evidence. The judge and jury are upset they have to let him go. Holmes rushes in saying he has new evidence. Too late. Later he and Moriarty share a hansom cab, Moriarty tells him he’s planning a crime that will shock Britain and end Holmes’ career.

That night Moriarty prepares his crime. He has a letter mailed off to Sir Ronald Ramsgate and another letter mailed off containing a drawing of a man with an albatross in his chest. He says it’s all a distraction for Holmes.

The next day Holmes is visited by Sir Ronald Ramsgate. He shows him the letter which says the Star of Delhi will never reach the Tower of London. It’s a priceless emerald given to the Queen. Sir Ronald asks Holmes to make sure everything goes well. Earlier Holmes got a note from Ann Brandon (Ids Lupino). She wants his advice on whether or not to attend a garden party.

Ann shows up and she has the figure of an albatross pierced by a knife. It’s the same thing her father got ten years ago just before he was murdered. Now she’s afraid for her brother Lloyd’s life. The next visitor is Ann’s fiancee and family lawyer Gerald Hunter. He thinks she’s being silly. Holmes wants Watson to keep an eye on Gerald. He spots Moriarty coming out of his office.

Later Lloyd is in Gerald’s office in a panic. Gerald tells him the safest place for him is back home. Lloyd leaves and Gerald grabs a gun and follows him. Lloyd is killed. Inspector Bristol (E.E.Clive) wants to arrest Gerald. Holmes says Lloyd was strangled and the blows to the head came after death so Gerald didn’t kill him with the gun barrel. Bristol agrees to hold off. The game is afoot.

This is not based on a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle story and it shows. The best reason to watch this is for Zucco.

 

 

 

Barney Miller (1974-82)

Excellent show with a great cast that takes place in the 12th precinct police station in New York. Hal Linden is Captain Barney Miller, Max Gail is Detective Stan “Wojo” Wojciehowicz, Ron Glass is Detective Ron Harris, Steve Landesberg is Detective Sgt.Arthur Dietrich, Ron Carey is Officer Carl Levitt, Jack Soo is Detective Sgt.Nick Yemana, Abe Vigoda is Detective Phil Fish, James Gregory is Inspector Frank Luger, Gregory Sierra is Detective Sgt.Chano Amenquale and Barbara Barrie is Barney’s wife Elizabeth. Cast members came and went during the show’s run.

Februray 12,1976 episode: “Block Party” w.Linda Lavin – There’s been a shooting at a block party. Chano and Detective Janice Wentworth (Linda Lavin) go on the call. Janice makes the bust but the perp gets hauled off by detectives from Manhattan South. Wentworth goes ballistic because she didn’t credit for the arrest.

Harris is trying to get a column together for the police newsletter. He’s had to toss some stuff away and is crying censorship.

Into the station comes Lt.Ben Scanlon from Manhattan South. He’s loaded with derogotory remarks about women on the force and Barney takes him into his office before Wentworth loses it. Barney insists Scanlon’s report includes a comendation for Wentworth. He doesn’t want to go that far.

When he leaves the office Harris is reading his latest column about the great collar made by Wentworth. Scanlon changes his mind….but just barely.

Lavin is too over the top in the episode but the other cats members have some sly one liners that make it fun. There’s also an interesting exchange between Chano and a barber who is impatient to get a gun permit. There’s also some good stuff from James Gregory as Inspector Frank Luger.

February 19,1976 episode: “Massage Parlor” w/Linda Lavin – All the cops in the 12th precinct are trying to bust a group of sex parlors in the area. They’ve all gone undercover to try and get solicited. No luck. It also affects their egos.

Now Wentworth (Linda Lavin) wants to give it a try. She and Wojo are going with each other and he’s uneasy about her giving it a try. Since the first attempt wasn’t successful she wants to do it again. This time it works and she arrests a cowboy from Oklahoma who has only been in the city for two weeks. Even in a cell he manages to charm her. A lot of funny lines from the cast.

The other storyline involves Mr, Fletcher. He says he was mugged by an old lady. Barney wants some cross dressers brought in but they’re all accounted for. Then he finds several older women who have records for robbery. Fletcher says the one who robbed him knew karate and that’s how she got the best of him.

A group of women are brought in including Mrs.Mable Kleiner (Florene Halop). She has an arrest record. She also has some fun coming onto Fish. This is a funny vignette making it another good episode.

Body For Sale-Richard Deming (1962)

Deming has done a lot better than this. A man blackmails his way into an executive position and tries for more. Keeping with the times and the paperback originals our hero never met a woman that doesn’t eventually fall all over him.

I don’t have a clue as to what Pocket Books was thinking with a very stupid incentive to buy. I realize every company tries to get a quick interest by reprinting one of the better scenes in the book as soon as you open the cover. There are 169 pages and the editors chose to print a pivotal scene from page 160. Does that mean they thought there wasn’t anything before that to make the story interesting enough to a potential reader? Ya got me.

Tom Cavanaugh was fired from the police force for being a drunk. He held some other jobs but his petty criminal ways always got him fired. Now he’s a traveling salesman for a tool company. Things aren’t going well so he stops in his favorite watering hole before facing the boss.

The boss is George Matthews. He runs things because he married the daughter of the wealthy owner of the company. Tom has less than zero respect for him. Then he gets a break. He charges past George’s secretary. Nobody there. Wait. There he is. Underneath him on the couch in another room is file clerk Gertie. She’s easy and even Tom had a quick whirl a while ago.

Tom takes full advantage and has himself made a district manager. No more road trips for him. He eventually romances George’s private secretary Esther. Tom can’t understand why George fools around on wife Helen. She’s a knockout. (No other kind in paperback originals).

It’s all over the office about Gertie and George. Tom feels that’ll end his advantage now that the affair is out in the open. He goes to see Helen and tells her what’s going on. Helen wants to know if George is serious about Gertie. Gertie’s been saying George is getting a divorce and will marry her.

Tom tells Helen he’ll follow George around and see how serious he is and if there are any other women stashed around. George is making some strange purchases. A gun and some window sash weights. Tom tells Helen. Is George planning to do away with her?

Deming is a good writer but in reading this one I kept thinking “So what?” about it all. If you’ve never read him don’t start with this.

The Addams Family (1964-66)

Sitcom based the the Charles Addams New Yorker cartoons. Carolyn Jones is Morticia, John Astin is her husband Gomez, Ken Weatherwax is their son Pugsley and Lisa Loring is daughter Wednesday. Also in the cast: Jackie Coogan as Uncle Fester, Ted Cassidy as Lurch the butler and Blossom Rock (Marie Blake) as Grandmama Addams. There’s also a hand that lives in a box. That’s Thing. Felix Silla is Cousin Itt. He’s a midget that’s completely covered with hair and speaks like a speeded up tape.

Opening episode: September 18,1964: “The Addams Family Goes To School” w/Allyn Joslyn – Mr.Hilliard (Allyn Joslyn) is a truant officer. He’s been sent to the Addams house to find out why their kids aren’t in school. Wednesday shows him around. This establishes the house filled with sight and sound gags with a horror theme.

Hilliard’s not too happy when his guide to Morticia is Lurch. She’s working on her hemlock and poison oak plants. Gomez is playing with his trains. That means blowing up bridges on his model set. He doesn’t want the kids to go to school. He says they learn everything at home including how to raise thoroughbred spiders.

Uncle Fester and Grandmama are playing their version of darts. They use knives. Just when Fester is told to aim for the heart Hilliard walks in and then hurries out. Back at school he tells the principal Miss Comstock (Madge Blake) he’s not going back there.

Morticia gets her way and they all show up the next day in Miss Comstock’s office. Wednesday comes home upset after hearing a Grimm’s fairy tale about a knight killing a dragon. The kids don’t want to go back. The Addams invite Mr.Hilliard to come for dinner and discuss it. He doesn’t want to so Lurch is sent to get him. He ends up going to the school board saying there’s too much violence being taught in school.

Last episode: April 8,1966: “Ophelia’s Career” – Morticia’s sister Ophelia Frump (Carolyn Jones as a blonde) drops by for a visit. She’s been dumped again. Maybe she shouldn’t keep practicing judo on her boyfriends. She tosses Gomez around for a while.

She’s depressed and Morticia and Gomez think she needs a new career. How about in science? Ophelia and Fester use his chemicals but it just results in an explosion. How about an opera singer? They call on Cousin Itt to come down the chimney and teach her all he knows. That doesn’t work either.

Now it’s time to call in Mr.Bellini. Lurch plays the harpsichord. Ophelia develops a two part harmony voice. Now she gets an audition with the empresario Rudolpho. Fester has cooked up some throat spray. She’ll sing Morticia’s new opera “Afternoon In A Swamp.” All that comes out is a scream. Fester’s spray burned her nodes.

Ophelia gets a letter from her last boyfriend. She’s going back to him. He’s taken up judo. It’s a weak final episode.

Overall John Astin is fun to watch and Carolyn Jones is irresistible. Ted Cassidy’s tag line is “You Raaaaang?” Jackie Coogans’s bit is that he’s 110 volts and light bulbs light up in his mouth.

Pohlstars-Frederick Pohl (Short Stories)

Twelve stories from 1968,71,77,82-85. Favorites:

“The High Test” (1983) – Told by a series of letters to his mother. Jim Paul Madigan works on Cassiopeia 43-G as a driving instructor. He has his hands full with a two headed alien who has his own agenda.

“Spending A Day At The Lottery Fair” (1983) – America is overcrowded. Jobs are won at a lottery fair. The process is seen through the eyes of a couple tourists. All is not what it seems.

“Enjoy, Enjoy” (1974) -  A man is hired to go around the world and have fun. His experiences will be recorded for those who aren’t able to get around. If his adventures get boring he’ll get three warnings. He can quit anytime or wait to be fired. He’ll find out the ideal job isn’t exactly as advertised.

“Growing Up In Edge City” (1975) – A young boy goes exploring outside his controlled environment. He sees a population known as drop outs. When he gets back the proctors aren’t happy with him. When he becomes an adult and a member of the ruling council the story takes a nice dark twist.

“The Mother Trip” (1975) – A good send up of those oh so hip in the woods encounter group sessions for so-called self improvement. This is how the aliens see it it.

A note about the last story”The Wizards Of Pung’s Corners.” It’s a translation of the 1958 story from Chinese into English. There are eighty-eight footnotes to explain a lot of the terms and references. It’s a chore to get through.

Sledge Hammer (1986-88)

David Rasche is the not too bright cop Sledge Hammer. He’s obsessed with his gun and frequently talks to it. Like the bumper sticker on his car says, he loves violence.  The show tries way too hard for laughs and falls flat. Anne-Marie Martin is his partner Dori Doreau and their boss is the always screaming Captain Trunk played by Harrison Page. The show’s overused catch phrase is, “Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”

No cop comedy can hold a candle to the best of them all, “Police Squad!” with Leslie Nielsen (1982).

Pilot episode: September 23,1986: “Under The Gun” w/John Vernon – Mayor Jack Flambo’s daughter is kidnapped. Hammer is on suspension but the Mayor admires his style and wants him on the case. On the way to City Hall, Hammer runs into a sniper situation. He gets a bazooka out of his trunk and blows up the building to get the sniper on the roof.

At the Mayor’s office he meets his new partner, Officer Doreau. He doesn’t want to work with a woman. He doesn’t have a choice. There’s a dumb scene where he takes care of a purse snatcher and then it’s back to the station. Doreau does some computer work and comes up with a terrorist organization that may be behind the kidnapping. They make an arrest at a massage parlor

Hammer decides the Mayor’s wife is behind it all. He has her cuffed and gagged and brought into the Mayor’s office. Looks like he’s back on suspension. That doesn’t stop he and Doreau from tracking down the bad guys and getting a surprise.

The idea was good and Martin made a good partner but the lines tried way too hard to be wacky and just sunk the whole thing. This was Anne-Marie Martin’s last TV role.