Want to see a bad movie? A really bad movie? One that has one of the worst scenes ever? Then dig up a copy of this extravaganza.
A group of Brownies visit Dolls,Incorporated. Secretary Janet Hall warns them not to touch the dolls in jars locked in a display case. The next day Janet disappears and doll maker Mr.Franz (John Hoyt using a German accent he keeps losing) hires Sally Reynolds (June Kenney) to replace her. She meets salesman Bob Westley (John Agar).
As the days go by she discovers a mailman is also missing when a replacement delivers a registered letter for Janet. Bob hangs around town to help Franz and spend time with Sally. One night Franz’s old friend Emil stops by. He’s in town to do a puppet show.
While those two talk over old times Emil upsets Franz by wondering what happened to his wife Emma. Turns out she took off with an acrobat. Those wacky show people. While they trip down memory lane Bob takes Sally to a drive-in. This is an educational part of the movie and a tip for marriage minded men. If you want to propose to your fiancee make sure you’re watching “The Amazing Colossal Man.” She won’t be able to resist you. Bob agrees to tell Franz the next day that Sally is going with him back home to St.Louis.
The next morning Sally gets a call from Franz. Where is she? Bob’s left for home. She has nothing else to do but go to work. When she gets there she spots a doll in a jar. Looks a lot like Bob. She goes to the cops and tells Sgt.Patterson that her boss is making little ‘uns out of big ‘uns. He gets that look until she reminds him about Janet and Ernie the mailman.
They go to see Franz. There’s the jar with Bob. Franz drops a match in it and the doll burns up. Then he shows them a case full of Bob dolls. Case closed. Not wanting to take any chances Franz locks Sally in the back room. She wakes up wrapped in a napkin next to a huge telephone. Now Franz introduces her to all his little friends, including a very angry Bob. Time for another educational scene. Franz explains how to make little people by using a cat. You may want to take notes so you can reduce your friends whenever they get on your nerves.
Now for the squirm alert scene. This is so bad and deserves its place on the worst movie scene ever list. The other people include a Marine, a teenage couple, Janet and Georgia who may or not be a hooker. Franz says it’s party time and breaks out a mini bottle of champagne for everyone. Now he puts some records on. It’s the usual fake rock ‘n’ roll that drives any music fan up a wall. The teens jitterbug. Franz tells the girl he demands that she sing. She doesn’t want to but she belts out “My Living Doll” anyway.
Someone’s at the door. Franz goes out. It’s Emil. While Emil brags about his opening night Bob and the others try an escape plan. Too late. Back in their jars they go. Patterson stops by the next day since Bob hasn’t shown up in St.Louis. Now comes an excuse for director,producer,writer Bert Gordon to put his little girl Susan in one of his movies.(It won’t be the last time). She sees the cat come out of the matchbox and wants to play with it. Patterson goes into the workshop and Franz distracts the little girl with a new doll. Patterson sees the reducing machine but Franz manages to convince him it’s nothing. Narrow escape.
That night Emil drops by with a Dr.Jekyll puppet only Franz can fix. When he leaves Franz decides he doesn’t want to live anymore and tells his little pals they’re all going to the theater for a going away party. With Franz in another room and everyone in their party clothes Bob proves he’s lousy at tossing paper airplanes out windows with help written on them.
Party time at the empty theater. Franz puts on a puppet show with Dr.Jekyll while everyone watches from a suitcase. Character actor Hank Patterson appears as the janitor who wonders what all the noise is about and keeps offering Franz coffee. Bob has a plan. It actually works. Now he and Sally have to brave a rat,a cat and a dog before they get back to the office.
Maybe you should see this at least once. Well……maybe not.