Inept would be way too complimentary for this piece of garbage. My apologies to garbage. A spaceship crashes in a remote area of Northern California. On board are two monsters that look on humans as one big buffet item. This junk (my apologies to junk) was directed by Vic Savage who also admits to starring. It has narration from Larry Burrell to move things along. It doesn’t matter.
Local law enforcement investigates the crash and two end up dinner. Washington tells the others to shut up about it. A army unit commanded by Colonel James Caldwell is dispatched to the scene. Scientist Dr.Bradford shows up to try and figure it all out.
One of the monsters that looks like a guy dragging a rug escapes. He nails a babe and then it’s off to a cabin. A woman is hanging out the wash when she becomes brunch. Her newborn is inside. He’s safe. Even this movie won’t go that far. Next stop is near a creek where a boy and his grandfather are fishing. They end up being the catch of the day.
Local sheriff Martin Gordon (Vic Savage) isn’t getting very far in solving the problem. He does manage to drag his new wife Brett (Shannon O’Neil) just about everywhere. Bradford is inside the ship trying to communicate with the monster who is tied to the wall.
Meanwhile the other monster is headed for the beach. A really bad guitar player and even worse singer is part of a large gathering. He tries to knock the monster out with his guitar. The monster must be a music lover because he stops him from ever trying to sing again. The guests join him in the monster’s digestive system.
I’m sure by this time almost everyone that started watching this has gone on to to other things by now. That means you missed one of the worst ever movie scenes. Some things are so horrible they have to be seen. Our spaceman (?) now heads to the community dance hall. The scene inside with the dancers (?) goes way beyond horrendous. Luckily the rug from space shows up and goes into a feeding frenzy.
Without so much as a belch the next stop is lovers lane. The snack bar is open. Where does he put all these people? With nothing else to do he decides to turn over a car before dining on the driver. All that strength must come from all that protein.
Finally Dr.Bradford figures out there are two monsters. Then he figures out what they are and what they’re doing here. Too bad it’s not before the army unit is space chow.
I would need the world’s largest edition of Roget’s to find all the words meaning bad to even start describing this offense to celluloid. No big surprise that Vic Savage and Shannon O’Neil didn’t have much of a movie career.